31 March, 2011

Dearest blog/diary,

Im currently in dis relationship a year plus. First 6months, I really had a wonderful and sweetest moments with my bf. I really hope dis relationship can go steady and well and of course everlasting. How sweet and wonderful of us?? We always hang out, he always b there for me when Im being bullied, he always tolerate (my attitude of like being manja, like to be uhu glue to him), he even cooked for me, he even come all e way to my hostel to visit me when Im sick, he even came and be myside when one day my housemate bunuh diri, he even came and settle things when one day i had arguments with my housemates, we even able to hang out late midnite to watch movie,  I even accompany him late midnite when he went futsal with his frenz, we even used to battle in game, he even purposely din sleep at nite to wait next morning just to fetch me bck hostel frm my fren's hostel, we even go supermaket buy sayur and all to cook together, every nite b4 i sleep he will play guitar for me, i still remember he cried in front of me few time, I still remember once I overnite at his house whem Im sick, I scolded him for not waking me up to eat after I take medicine (and of cz he cooked dinner for me after dat), I even be his tongkat when his leg injured, he even suprised me with a couple necklace when he 1st get his PTPTN, we even went holiday together, we even celebrate b'thday together (which he never did). We never quarrel, but sometime I did find things to make him angry. He explained to me, and always have dis "sorrry" words. But all dis are history to me.. The 1st itme we met was a really funny things and funny stories.. It all started during posting. I cant believe after we 2gether, we work at same ward and some cubical. Of course having a bf working togther is so much fun. Plus his our ward leader dat time. All my duties or difficulty i will throw to him. He even helped me a lot during posting dat time. Lecturer ejek and asking about us and all. He always will teman me for break time or whereever i want to go. We even tried to request posting at sarawak together. But failed.  All dis are history and cant be turn back.

At the same time, many ppl saw both of us so sweet.. Many rumors and gossips around. But, both of us never bother and just have trust with each other. After dat, he moved little far away from me.. N things started to change. Everything still normal, but just a bit of differences in our relationship. Still, going well.

But things changes even worst dis year, when both of us have p'cintaan yg tdk direstui.. We tend to b far away, we always quarrel.. He also started to scold me and be rude to me. Everything i say, he has his own reasons and his egoness is too high. N Im always the one who be the water to cool down, I always the one who have no ego and principle in my life anymore. Even many times we quarrel, he said "If I think his too bad for me, is better to break dis relationship." But, I just felt dat there's a solutions better den breaking up. So Im the way u persuade him since both of us still have dat love towards each other. Since he den, he started working nite time.. Our relationship even further,even call and sms are also getting lesser. Every nite I cried and think how to make dis relationship b like last time. I always want to be better and much better for him, bt too many thinking in me dat makes us problems comes after another. We can even din sms for few days, no call for few days.. Since he din top up. And of cz, 3rd party appears started to appear in our life. I always asked myself "All e while Im sincer towards him, but why Im e one who get punished." He told me dat both of them have no relations, jst frenz. But can a normal fren be like smsing each other midnite, going out just the two of them??  Ok ,dis thing settled and also 3rd party dissapear in our life..

Many times I tried to changed, no scandle at all, even din contact any guys at all. He say now he wants is to be with me and care for me.. Even now i sicked, he din even asked me or anything. I actually scolded him for dis things and making me be like stupid gurl all e while. He actually scolded me bck by saying "too many problems occured till he felt lazy to layan me sometime. But he always think of me. Sometimes he dunno who to turn to (cz too many prolbems in us), so he find other ppl to talk to.

I know Im not a good gf like u want. U always say me for being too manja and too children. Always refuse to listen yr saying.. Is dis y u becmoe like dis? I always know and tld myself "in each relationship, of cz there's a period of time have thunders. Maybe dis is the time of trial for us. Since for the past 6-9 months, nothing happened as worst as this."

Anyway, Im happy to received yr Sliver White couple ring and necklace. I know it costs u a lot of yr money, bt thz.. And I will always be yr angel for u and will changed my attitude. Maybe perhaps I need to take a step to change, only u will able to change?? Who knows.. But if one person refuse to take a chance to change, our problems will go on like dis and getting worst.

I love u deeply..

(Soorry for writing my personal things here, but i just dunno who to tell to. So i decided to write here, maybe bloggers can give some advice.)

Done membelel.. Leave yr komen..

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