Wars..

Last week was a really hetic week for me. Lots of problems occured v bf. and I do not know wat to do. We almost broke up, but ended din break up too. Since both of us still have feelings for each other. N emotions during the gadoh time, of cz our brain will out of control. Ya, and i really din mean dat my member together with y bf. The stories goes like dat. I went to his house one day, I accidentally saw dat gurl sms at my bf's fon. Both of them sms-ing around 2am till 3am plus plus. Wat i know was, 1am my bf back from work and asked me to go bed early. Ok, i followed wat he said. But i just couldnt believe dat 2am his sms-ing v a gurl without my knowing. Do u all feel hurt? I think i saw a msg frm dat gurl saying " saya sayang awak", klo awak x nk tdr, saya pun x nk tdr.".. Wa..wat's my feelings afta dat? Din expect also of cz will start expect la.. I cried in front of him and my heart really aching. He did explained to me wat's going on. Well, explaination accepted, but my heart is just no peace at all. Lots of fears. If yr situation is like me, of cz u too will have e same feeling as me. This things make me around for 2 - 3 days.. I eventually smsed to dat gurl and told her al my feelings and thoughts. Asking her to have a distance v my bf. Even tho they are close. And i cant believe dat, watever message i sent to her, she forwarded to my bf.. The feelings of me is like, u purposely want to spoilt our relationship. Ya, true enough he almost break up v me. And I need to thz to her too, cz if dis thing wont occured, I wont know my bf's real feeelings all this while. N i also realised how bad am I to control my bf all dis while, how bad am I wanting to stick v my bf all dis while and all. (truth is my bf dislike all dis).

So, we started our new relationship without all these. Im trying my best to changed, his trying his best to change too. Life goes on. Of cz, afta dis incidents.. Things din go just like last time. His treat to me is colder den last time.. I told him straight wat my thinks and feelings (as i dun have this chance to say b4). He say he wants us to be happy just like last time we live together under the rooth and also when Im at penang..

Ya, i really miss the time we stay together under one bumbung.. Is like husband and wife.. Haha.. I back from training, his at home with his cookings and all. I wake up, with all breakfast ready. HuHu.. How sweet dat moment was. When I back late nite frm work, his there preparing my towel all for me to bath, even massage is available.. Oh, so sweet. Afta dinner, we sure will have movie together.. He will do all house chores instead of me.. Wakakaka.. Go buy vegetable, also we go togehter..

Really need him and want him by my side forever.. No one can take him away from me..

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Surprise!! B'tunang..

I dan bf i akan b'tunang.. soon.. yippee..!!
Congrates both of us ya..

Muax to my future tunang..

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Sorry, dear for my thoughts

Ish.. These few days i really dunno wat wrong with me until I kept on find fault with my bf.. Not only one day, but can say b'turut 3 days!! I really fedup until I actually wrote " Nak bercurang" at my bf's fb.. Dat moment, i really meant it.. I loggged out from his fb, and signed in to my own fb. Suddenly there's a guy (hen mun) chatted with me and ask me when free go drink together. I replied him back saying "u so bz, always find u, u also bz with yr gf dun want out v us." Den he replied by saying his single now and his very free. Of cz he asked me how am I and my bf. I asked him to find a bf to me. He actually so perasan until he ask me to accept him. Wat the heck!! 

Ya, teasing here and there.. He sounded so serious. Hen Mun and I used to be ex colleagues, and we are very close frenz. We always used to invite each other to have a drink, but since he has gf dat time we rarely meet up. But once, I went movie with my bf, I bumped into him. We talked like we are very close. Afta i dismissed v him, my bf actually got jelez.. Wakakaka.. Ya, back to topic about he want me to be his gf.. So, I told him I still having my dat boy la. He say he wont mind dat much. 

Later, my plan of curang din turn up. Cz of I rejected him at dat moment. These few days, I really dunno wat wrong v my mind. Today i actually text him by saying" If one day i break up v u, u dun think dat i x love u.. Is because of yr attitude dat makes me break up v u".. I love him a lot, bt just sometimes frenz's goossips, stories, his attitude I really cant accept dat much and fast. Well, tho we almost 1 year, but still I hardly can understand him.. I really want to forget all our problems dat we are having right now. Im too tired and too sick for all these things. I wont let u go anyway.

" I won't let u go. I will be patience just like how is yr patience to me. I know time and days will overcome our problems. N if there's fade, we will be forever. I cant believe myself for loving u and be with u so long. (as u know my previous stories). I will always protect u and support yr every decisions. I will fullfill yr promises too. "

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Yeah, last nite finally able to meet up with him afta 5 weeks of separation.. Thz dear for e willingness and effort to come. Had mamak time with him and few frenz of us.. Later, we went to supermarket to buy some grocceries for hostel.. I can say dat his more good in choosing vegetables, meat all better den me. Feel so ashame of myself. Even he cooked also better den I. Gud husband tho.. Haha.. Let say next time we marry, let him to handle all e household chores and let me go out to work.. Hehe.

Afta long separation, he said dat Im a bit chubby den before. YEAH!! Good for both of us (since he always complaint dat Im gettting thinner and thinner..).. But bad thing he said was I looked more dark den before. Wat to do? At penang weather is so supper hot, hostel no curtain (and my bed was just rite beside window, so u can imagine sun shine directs to my skin and my bed), n always went to beach in e afternoon or late afternoon.. Of cz  will go dark.. Takkan go fair den before. Hehe..

so serious in choosing..

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Random Sms

Today CNY 2, din go anywhere.. Actually before dis, planned to go Batu Pahat (dad's hometown). As u all read newspaper, all over malaysia is flooded! So, to avoid traffic jam and all, plan canceled. Dat means dis yera angpau wil be less den last year dy.. Haha..

Early in e morning, hp beeped!! Yeah, message from Him.. Yesterday mood changed, din really talk much v him. He arrived pahang safety and is busy-ing for afternoon party at his aunt's house. But, he did message me awhile. As usual, at home.. Lingering around, online, makan, watch tv  etc.. Especially now tv channel has lots of CNY Programme.

Dis afternoon, one family came and visit us. N yes angpau again.. WoOoO.. At least, 2 hours spent time v them.. Late afternoon, watched Ulitmate programme cause my bestie (Trisky) is on TV for competition. Hehe..

At least 4 hours din message v him. The next messages from him was asking me wat am I doing and all, sending his family regards to me and some random stuff. I asked him " why u din ask me wat am I doing at kl, instead of Johor. (since i tld him im going jhr today)" He replie " ala, yesterday u said sumthing came up..so x jadi g" I replied " i say x jadi g tok malam plan, bkn plan yg ari ni g johor. But, nvm. u r smart enouf. Muax" Later few hours we smsed again. I told him I managed to download certain movie. So whole nite Im downloading movie only..

Suddenly, he messaged me" blog dh ok??" I waas like "huh?? why suddenly talked about blog??" In my mind I was thinking, I din mention about Im editing my blog or write post any to him.. Cz I din do today. He suddenly pooped out dis question to me. Kinda weird. If he asked "how is yr progress in downloading movie?" I still can accept.. Aik.. Dis is how my bf always be.. Suddenly asked some question dat I wont think of or is irrelevant. But, anyway.. I still thank him for asking dis. That means his showing concern to my daily routine. Hehe..

Safe journey back to KL.. Thz to mother-in-law for her home cook fish..

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Safe journey to him all e way to pahang tonight..
Count down: 3 more days to go!!

*I miss him..*

Nak manja dgn si dia la.. Rindu masa dengan dia.. Selalu b'kepit tiap tiap ari..
Really thank you for yr patience toward me.
My selfishness, my temper, my weakness, my angryness, my self thoughts and all.
Thanks for sabar-ing with me all this while.

Im sorry for those words dat hurted u or make u angry and so on..
Deeply inside from my heart, IM SORRY..Is just angry talk sometimes.
U always tolerate me by trying yr effort to meet me, tolerate me even tho Im wrong, willing to spend time v me (even tho u're half way spending time v yr frenz or family), willing to fullfill my wishes and all.. There's so much I want to say.. I just couldn't express from my mouth even here I dunno how to express..

Well, i wish my actions will let u know my love 2 u..

Waiting for ur return..

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Counting

Woo.. 4 ari lg i kn alek ke sisi si dy..

Wdu u,b.. <3

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