Mending relationship

I really would like to repair my relationship with him.. Sometimes I just couldn't understand him well. He seems to understand me, but sometimes over understanding makes me felt that I din mean dat way.. I have lots to say, but I dun get a chance to say. When he and I are in good mood, I tend not to say anything dat will spoilt our mood.. When we are on fight, he tends to say a lot.. But I just cant get a thing out from my mouth. I dunno why. So i will just keep quiet all time.

Wat i dun understand recently was.. 

(last few weeks)

I: b, by is going to melaka during May holiday gawaii.. Can?? Got camp..

B: (quiet) hmm.b din go bck hometown during may holiday, b only at hostel.. if u go 2 melaka, i willl go to sarawak.. dun try to challenge me.. If i at cheras, u dun think u can go to melaka..

I: (ah??) but mine is camp, not holiday..ok, if b say like dis..i will follow u..

B: (quiet)

(Afta 2 weeks. Date: Last nite)

I: up (fren of my bf and I), back sarawak during gawaii??

Fren: Ah ah, going back.. yr bf will be following too. His mum allow

I: (shock) ah?? when?? buy ticket dy??

Fren: Havent.. still waiting..

(Today)

I: b, comfirm u going sarawak?? If yes, ok..den i will go to melaka..

B: Ah ah..confirm..u go la to where u want..

I: (kinda sad).. but, b say wont go?? How come changed yr mind

B: dis is wat i want all e while. U also know rite? From last time i say i want to go till now.

I: yes i know..bt lst time u said u want to go v me..and we can go togehter next semester posting..

B: u thin is so easy to apply at sarawak for posting??

I: (rasa mcm diingin kan) ok..up 2 u la..i will go whereever i want..u also go whereever u want..

B: by, b oly away to sarawak with my housemates only. I want go there to have a look.. U dun worry, our heart is always near..

I and B: (silence..)

Later, he realised Im different.. So, he tries to make me happy. But i din really care. Afta dat he pissed off at me, saying sakit aty, cz his trying to make me happy.. But i ignore. I kept quiet and all his anger put on me.. Saying my fault all e while. Saying Im starting to pijak kepala dy. Wat the heck??!!

Hello b.. 

• All e while I sms u, u saying dat u are playing game.. Ok, fine..u can continue yr game..
• When i sms u last nite.. U told me u're working. I said, is alrite u continue yr work. i dun want to disturb u.. (but just now u scolded me for saying dis, scolded me for being over manja. but dis is wat i really mean, and not mean forcing u to reply. Ya, maybe at certain times I may make u force to reply my sms. But dis time I din mean to. Yes, u say u can relpied my sms during work. But i dun want feel bad gf for disturbing u, i dislike receive sms dat is short. Last time, u scolded me for always sms-ing u while u are doing things. But dis time u're working, i din sms u. U scold me for dis??)
• When i went to yr house, u are sleeping. I let u sleep. I just looked at u from beside without waking u up.. Last time i woke u up during yr sleep time, u scolded me lots. Dis time i din wake b up..

-In all cases like above, Im just doing by yr wish. And u say I pijak kepala u?? I even more confuse by u..-

If last time, u say i pijak kepala u, i still can accept.. Coz last time I treat u very bad. I make u do watever things i want and according to my way. Forcing u like nobody problems.. But now I realised, and would like to change and  to mend our relationship. I dun want to c us fighting always.. But, still u have yr ways to say me back.. Say me din change at all, saying me being over reacted, over manja, etc.. Tell me wat should i do?? I do like wat u want, but u also say me back.. I do my way, u say me also.. I think Im gonna crazy..

I really dun understand wat is in his mind. Dis moment say not going, dis momen say going. Well, maybe dat moment his mum havent approve? But still, I felt u are getting far den me..

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Done membelel.. Leave yr komen..

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